After over an hour of shifting and shaking my physical form, aligning and synchronizing with breath as much as I can, I attempt a shape of stillness. I elevate my sitting bones and try to grow taller in my spine. Relaxing my shoulders away from my ears as I encourage my tongue to melt away from the roof of my mouth.
I take in the figure of creative Saraswati, sitting lovingly on my altar before I allow my eyes to close. Palms settling onto thighs. Taking a few moments to reflect. I reflect on the intention of that asana practice---you are divine, embodied love. Really, you are. Your sweat thinks so.
I reflect on the various shapes & creatures I channeled that morning; humble warriors, cats and cows, a dancer, a firefly, cobras, camels, the shaky tail feather of a peacock.
And then, compassionately, I acknowledge my efforts and settle inside this shape of stillness.
 
But stillness isn’t absolute. I can feel the aftershocks of the practice. The residue escaping my skin and vibrating on the surface like the few seconds after fingers leave the skin of a drum.
It’s a protective layer of sorts. Holding my form as I journey to the inner landscape.
Now I am in seated meditation.
Now I am in seated meditation.
I am absorbing the nutrients of the practice.
I am isolating the voice that listens more than it speaks.
Let the breath be natural. Delicate, as one of my teachers says.
Gazing softly at the dance of color and stars behind closed eyelids.
But even that can be a distraction.
I am aware. I am aware that I am aware.
That piece gets me every time. Evolution to the point of being aware of awareness.
Awareness of body parts. My thighs connecting to the mat. The tattoo on my left big toe. My ears that look exactly like my grandfather’s ears. My heart rate shifting as my breath softens. The hairs on my head.
This body that is mine even though my mind doesn’t dictate the rate of my fingernails growing or the date of the next blemish on my chin (despite all the water I drink and whole foods I eat).
This body I spent years shaming when all it did was show up. What the hell is that all about?
 
Awareness of these thoughts. Awareness of all the thoughts reinforced over time to manifest as identity. I am creating future experience through this moment.
Pause.
Acknowledge.
Back to the breath.
Now I am in seated meditation.
Now I am in seated meditation.  
Sitting like the Buddha.
Or am I already the Buddha?
This is the work today.

Thoughts from my latest Instagram post//@_katowens
​
Who do you follow for yoga?
What images do you seek out? 
What images inevitably always show up? 
What do the yoga bodies look like? Homogenous much? 

Please don’t be mistaken. Yoga is an inclusive practice, but society doesn’t want that. Inclusivity means empowerment. Empowerment means confidence. Confidence doesn’t sell. 

So, we get images of advanced asana defining and diluting the spiritual path. Look at your screen & then look around you in your next yoga class and ask yourself: how many people of color? Larger bodied folks? LGBTQ folks? Older communities or disabled bodies? You deserve to own your experience and your practice, but you aren’t stepping off your mat into isolation.
For me, svadyaya is a constant unpacking of my own privilege and my own story within the modern yoga framework. 
The yoga industrial complex doesn’t want me to feel empowered.
I have much more to say on this, but I’m also aware that there are TOO MANY folks who look like me taking up space on this topic. Diversity in yoga is not my space to define. I am not in a marginalized body. My white, cisgender, able body has plenty of representation. 
So I listen. Ask questions. Do the research. If I’m triggered or feeling defensive, I ask myself why. 
If you're still reading & still curious, I invite you to lean into that. If you don’t know where to start (for yoga or in general…although “not knowing” is kind of its own issue in this age of google), I got you. Please check out these folks/groups on social media: 
@ybicoalition 
@accessibleyoga
@diannebondyyoga 
@mynameisjessamyn 
@nolatrees
@saraclarkyoga
@bodypositiveyoga_
@seanecorn
@offthemat
@curvyyoga
@biggalyoga
@blackgirlyoga
@chelsealovesyoga
@yoga_international
@sassy_latte 
@janetmock
@ripsnorter
@ihartericka
@yourstruelymelly
@feministastic
@thebodyisnotanapology

and so many more, I’m sure….in fact, help a lady out and add on with a comment.  #yoga #socialjustice

.